Sonic The Hedgehog 2019 movie

Someone, somewhere in Hollywood thought it was a good idea to play Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” on a video game movie trailer.

And not just ANY video game movie trailer. I’m talking about a film no one asked for a genre that’s still a flop on the big screen.

It’s none other than Sonic The Hedgehog movie, and you better run faster before it’s plot drains your brains out.

Sonic The Hedgehog’s movie is not helping the genre

Many like myself were completely unaware Paramount Pictures was working on a Sonic live-action movie starring Jim Carry.

You might be looking forward to it, hating it, or just hoping it goes straight to DVD. Either way, we can all be sure of one thing: this is not the one film to turn video games into a favorite movie genre.

Other than 2018’s Tomb Raider starring Alicia Vikander or 2016’s Warcraft, video games and Hollywood are just not a good match.

And this is just my opinion. Warcraft scored 28% on film critics aggregator Rotten Tomatoes and scored $447 million on box office with a $160 million investment. Meanwhile, Tomb Rider has a 51% score on Rotten Tomatoes and $275M box office earnings with a $100M investments. Not very good numbers if you ask me.

2018's Tomb Raider starring Alicia Vikander
2018’s Tomb Raider starring Alicia Vikander. Source: Dans Media Digest.

More so if you consider another recent flop, 2017’s Assasin’s Creed starring Michael Fassbender. It didn’t even double the $120M budget with its $240M earnings.

Sega’s Sonic The Hedgehog is not the character to give video game movies the mainstream status like 2012’s X-Men once did for superheroes.

It’s just bad news for the genre. Do you know what would be good, though? A “The Last of Us” movie. Something like this:

Instead, further video game movies we’re getting on the coming years include:

  • The Angry Birds 2 (2019)
  • Assassin’s Creed 2 (2019)
  • Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019)
  • Borderlands
  • The Division

Sonic The Hedgehog is a cringy live-action “comedy.”

I don’t need to tell you how cringy this is, but I’ll do it either way by merely naming all of the tropes the movie contains:

  • Bad guys are the military;
  • Sidekick is a white guy who inadvertently finds something he knows nothing of and ends up being a key to fulfill the outsider’s mission (Transformer’s Sam Witwicky?);
  • The villain is very eccentric;
  • Human character hides the non-human character in public in a non-funny way.
The trailer might be light on details, but I think we already know it’s a classic Sony story. The titular blue “speedster” (with the voice of Ben Schwartz of Parks and Recreations) fights against his main enemy, Jim Carrey’s Doctor Robotnik.
And while he does so, he somehow saves the Earth…because every blockbuster nowadays must have high stakes full of CGIs and random extras so we care.
So, basically, Sonic is blue alien saving humanity in yet another movie of heroes vs. villains. However, what’s genuinely worts is the soundtrack of choice, “Gangsta’s Paradise”…that’s the song everyone associates with the fast hedgehog.
Sonic The Hedgehog's movie Dr. Robotnik
Sonic The Hedgehog’s movie Dr. Robotnik. Source: Film Industry Network.
James Marsden from Westworld is playing Tom Wachowski, a recently appointed Green Hills sheriff that teams up with the blue hedgehog.
And Sonic, a CGI character, appears o have a lot less screen time than Wachowski and Carry’s cringy version of Dr. Robotnik. It’s not like SEGA is going to find any grateful fans going like: “Hey! Yeah! That’s exactly how Dr. Robotnik looked in the original Sonic game! That’s exactly what I wanted!”

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